A couple of weeks ago Grace had some friends round.
We don’t often have people over, historically it has been overwhelming for Dylan and secretly Dad and I have always felt a bit vulnerable about the sometimes innocent cruelty of kids to one another, especially to those who are different or misunderstood.
Don’t get me wrong; we have never had any issues. Josh and Graces friends have grown up with Dylan. They see him in the playground at pick up and drop off times and will often innocently ask valid questions to the younger two about Dylan.
Children are naturally inquisitive and its important to ask about things you don’t know or understand. Ultimately its how people learn and I fully encourage this. However I am also aware of the burden to the little ones being Dylan’s advocate to the big wide world. Home should be that little bit of sanctuary where they don’t have to protect or defend him.
But the wee ones are growing up and have needs themselves too so before the half term break we agreed and had a small gaggle of Graces friends over for a picnic and a play.
Well, what a beautiful set of young souls. They played both with and around Dylan; involving him when he wished and accepting when he didn’t. Communication was no issue and his flicking, flapping and straw knawing was totally overlooked. He sat in the garden and ate with them as pleased as punch.
Faith in humanity and hope for the future restored.
How can caring affect families?
When a child is diagnosed with a disability the amount of information and support offered to the family varies. Families can feel very alone and unsure about how to support their child, or what will happen in the future. Seeing challenging behaviour appear in a young child can be upsetting and confusing. There is a lot to learn and getting professional help and specialist services can be difficult.
Families are often socially isolated and can be left out of family events, activities and places in the local community because of their family member’s behaviour. Family carers say they have feelings like stress, frustration, anger, guilt, shame and loneliness, or feel that no-one understands what they are going through. Feeling low or stressed can sometimes lead to mental health problems like depression or anxiety, that need medical help. Relationships break down more often for people whose son or daughter’s behaviour challenges. Finding support and time alone to relax is really important, but can be hard. Meeting other parents is really helpful to get support and to share ideas of what has helped.
Eating well, exercising and getting enough sleep can be tough when your family member’s needs come first, especially if they have sleep problems. Families can plan their time to do activities that are good for all the family and be healthy together.
Parents might not be able to work and extra money is spent if things get broken or equipment and changes are needed at home. There are benefits, direct payments and grants that families might be entitled to.
Taken from the Challenging Behaviour Foundation Website http://www.challengingbehaviour.org.uk