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A midnight treat

Since being a parent my sleep has been awful. 

It’s always the way, either I’m asleep and one of the kids wakes me or someone needs something so I wake, usually unable to go back to sleep, laying with one ear open in case they need anything else. Or everyone is asleep by 11pm and I’m still laying in bed at 4.30am either graphically revisiting every bad life decision I’ve ever made or attempting to memorise a mental to do list for the next day, week, month or for the rest of my life.

Currently I’m on night 3 and I still can’t memorise any mental list. I’m absolutely shattered and becoming increasingly frustrated with my tired brain which seems to have forgotten how to work it’s off switch. It’s always felt unfair that no matter how bad I sleep there’s always that expectation to get up in the morning and carry on as before, regardless of how tired I may be! It’s a responsibility to always be on call 24/7 and on nights like this it really sucks.

Everyone’s asleep; they have been for hours. I hear a small whimper from Dylan’s room and his mattress creak as he rolls over then, as clear as a bell he calls out, “Mum”

My heart skips a beat as I jump up to check if he’s okay. I pop my head round his door and he sleeping soundly like a baby slapping his lips mid dream. 

I sneak back to bed elated. He’s fine, he’s just dreaming but he spoke! Properly spoke. Clearer than I’ve ever heard. And he called me, in his unconcious state he wanted me or thought of me. I wish I had recorded it. I would love to hear it again. My hearts still racing as i recall it. It was the best thing I’ve ever heard.  Hearing him talk like that was a total chance event and if I was asleep I would have missed it. 

If there’s a chance I could hear that one more time I’ld happily agree to never sleep again. 

Sweet dreams little man. I’m here, always listening x

Picture is of a different day when, mid morning, Dylan decided he had had enough of being awake and took himself off for a quiet lie down. Typical! The boy hasn’t napped since he was 6 months old! ūüėā


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The real slim shady

A warm autumn day, the last warm day for a while so I coax Dylan out of his heavy hooded coat to give it a wash and hang it on the line. 

Heading out for the afternoon school run and Dylan’s managed well for this long without his beloved coat. To add insult to injury he left the house in a rush and forgot his ear defenders. Now Dylan *has* to listen to the radio on volume 20 even though it’s too loud for his sensitive ears without ear defenders. He struggles through it until we turn southeast and right into the glare of the afternoon sun. It’s all too much and Dylan’s cackling and swinging himself around in the front seat trying the juggle the sensory cocktail thrust upon him. 

We’re heading for panic. I can’t get his coat. We’re going to be late if we go back for the ear defenders. There’s no other route to school which would avoid the bright sun. It’s going to be a bumpy ride…. until this…

He dug out my oversized shades and stuck them on his face, instantly relieved. And then just like that he kicked back and listened to the tunes on the radio for the rest of the trip. We gently pulled up at the school gates. Fearing he may feel a bit self concious 

“Dylan do you want to take those off now?” 

“Non”.

And he didn’t. And then he rocked them, all the way home ūüôā

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Busy times 

September has been a hectic month. Dylan’s been up to loads! This week he’s received his reading challenge award at our local library. ¬†Dylan read six books of his choosing and told the librarian about them to get himself signed off as passing the challenge. ¬†The librarian seemed a bit then aback at Dylan answering with his iPad and Dylan also needed assistance with his answers as there wasn’t much clueing in to what the questions would be, but it was a team effort and Dylan was really proud to get his award.

A new school year; Dylan’s sixth at home and the battles to get him back into the education system continues. There’s huge confusion in local authority, sen provision and social care about what age students can attend college, what provision would be suitable, who can provide it and (this is the deal breaker) who’s going to pay for it. ¬†It looked like in early September that it would be unlikely that college would be an option but then I saw the story surrounding a young lad who had his college place withdrawn after a week I realised that I really needed to pursue this if we were going to get anywhere. After a few emails a tour of the provision was arranged and hopefully Dylan will have a part time college place starting after the October half term… we’ll see!