I recently saw a post on The Huffpost that reported about one mothers difficulty in going out and the feeling of having to hide away due to the social difficulties of going out with her child with autism. The article was hard to read but also brave and discusses a feeling that I remember well. The post was met with a frosty reception and attracted comments outraged at the ‘child abuse’ of not wanting to take your child out. The ‘if you just make them work through it they’ll get over it’ mentality of parenting a child with Special needs.
Why do we do that to each other as parents? Judge, be unkind or unsympathetic to others difficulties? This parent shaming needs to stop and we need to support each other and our kids.
We’re all in this together.
Here is the article and below is one of my responses to the many blaming and unsupportive comments the article received.
What might appear negative to one is the reality for another. That in itself requires an element of acceptance does it not?
Acceptance isn’t only from society. What if the professionals don’t accept the needs, especially sensory based needs?
My son will chase others to push them. Not to hurt them intentionally; But he will if he catches them.
The screaming. The fear in the faces of others in public when he screams because of a sensory trigger. I know what is going on for him, I know he won’t attack them but others don’t.
And some days I am tired of explaining. Of trying to catch others eyes at the right time to explain. After they have noticed that something is different but before their interest shuts off and they want to move away, the opportunity to educate lost because he startled them.
If professionals don’t support children with these needs then it is down to the parents.
Parent who are already tired. Frustrated. Grieving at times.
Parents who are trying to navigate a profession which people take years to study. To pick out relevant bits to their child to be able to relieve this sensory hell for him. So he can move forward, feel able to go out and then seek acceptance.
All that work, that dedication and that belief in her child makes that mother the example she wants to see from the world.